This post was written by Janice Windt – Working Mothers Blog.
We know what it’s really like. When you have young kids, a job to hold down and a house to run, it’s not easy to find the time or energy to love your man…
But the truth is that we believe the most important thing you can do for your kids is love your man. And we mean LOVE. We mean look up to him, build him up in your children’s eyes and let them see love modeled in your relationship. They will not see it anywhere else. They are more likely to experience the exact opposite in the world, their friends’ homes and lives, everywhere really.
Love is hard to find and hard work to keep… so let’s get started:
1) Tell him he is awesome.
He needs to hear it. He needs you to look into his eyes and tell him that he is good at his job, a great friend and a wonderful husband or partner and mean it. Find three things that you absolutely love about him and tell him… again and again.
2) Really believe that he is awesome.
No-one is perfect. None of us are without a lazy, irritating habit or a loud snore or the tendency to open windows and let him close them. We all have our problems. Look for the good in him and be absolutely convinced that the good outweighs the bad.
3) Don’t judge him.
When kids arrive, many mothers put their husbands off childcare instantly with these six words: “that’s not how you do it!”. Let him do it his way. It is probably not perfect – but neither is yours, and wouldn’t you rather have him change a nappy by hook or by crook than have to do them all yourself?
4) Celebrate who he is.
Many of us date and marry with the intention of “saving” or “changing” or “enhancing” our men… don’t. Accept him for who he is – just in case he doesn’t change.
5) Believe in who he is to become.
The thing is, he will change. Your task is to support him and encourage him as he grows… not to point out all the bad things about him so that he will eventually change into the man you would like him to be. That person does not exist. Your man does – smelly socks and all. So just love him and keep loving him as he grows into himself – there is such beauty in lovingly walking with someone through life in this way.
6) Find his work interesting.
Even if you don’t. Find a question to ask – and really listen to the answer. It’s amazing how much more interesting something (anything) becomes the more you learn about it…
7) Love, or put up with, his friends.
They are a part of him. Hopefully, you can get on well with their wives and girlfriends – if you can, you have hit gold!
8) Look good for him.
My grandmother used to always tell me to put fresh lipstick on before my husband came home. The only problem is that I hardly ever wear lipstick and often work as hard as he does… I am not talking about a 50’s Home Economics Textbook here. I am talking about staying in shape so that you are fit and healthy and he is proud to look at you and know you are his. It’s important to him.
I’m not one of those Supermoms who are out and about with their newborn in week two. Not me. Nope. I could not have scraped myself off the floor without my husband on many days. So this one was easy for me. But it does pay off to lean on him – even if you are a Supermom and have to fake it a little…
10) You know what number ten is. You do, really.
Just find a way to do it for fun with him now. As often as you can possibly scrape together the energy. It’s worth it! He needs it more than he will ever let on.
Now, we would love to hear from you… how do you find the time and energy you need to love your man? Do you have a regular date night? Or manage to carve out time to be together in some unconventional way? The truth is that we’re all in this together and your comments could help thousands of mums around the world to find new ways to love their man and, more importantly, realize that they are not alone in the challenges they face…
If you found this article helpful, we would be honoured if you would share it with your friends via email or social media, sign up for the Working Mothers Expo VIP Waiting List and book your diaries for an event you will not want to miss
See you soon!
The Working Mothers Expo, brought to you in partnership with MiWayLife, brings together everything working mothers need under one roof. 4-6 November 2016. Sandton Convention Centre. Meet our MCs, Elana Afrika and Claire Mawisa, at the Speakers Corner.
Tickets available at Computicket