Dear Baby, I’m sorry about the 3-year-old…

Dear Son, I really want to apologize to you.

This is new for both you and I.

I never did understand the relationship between siblings right up until you were born. I thought it would be an easy journey for you and your sister but each day I am learning that having a big sister can get overwhelming.

I am always screaming and shouting or trying to be patient with you two.

I feel as if I’ve been unfair to you…but the truth is that being the second child doesn’t only mean that you get hand-me-downs; it also means that you have to deal with a sibling who is older than you are, one who is also bursting with love and energy.

She wants you near ALL. THE. TIME.

I am sorry that she overwhelms you.

Dear Baby, I’m sorry about the 3-year-old…

I did not realize how claustrophobic it must have been for you until she went to school. Then you had a few hours on your own to play and be free, but I have also seen how much you miss her when she’s not around.

Isn’t that strange? But that is what having a sibling is about.

You’re the first person she looks for when she comes home from school and you’re the last person she kisses before she sleeps at night.

I am sorry that she put a pink headband on your head and almost painted your toenails.

Dear Baby, I’m sorry about the 3-year-old…

Your sister loves playing dress up and sometimes she forgets that you are a REAL baby and not her doll.

I am sorry that she isn’t sure if she wants to carry you or not.

Your relationship with her will always be a special one but there will be moments…

Moments of jealousy.

Moments when she wants to love you and moments when she wants to hate you.

Moments when she wants to do both.

Moments when she wants to share you with Mommy and moments when she wants to keep you all to herself.

I am sorry that she thinks that you are like elastic.

I am sure that it hurts you when she pulls your hands and legs. Please understand, she is still getting used to the idea of having a baby brother around.

She wants you to communicate with her and she gets frustrated when you don’t talk back…

I am sorry for the bruised cheeks and saliva kisses.

She is fascinated with your cheeks and ends up showing affection in a harsher way than I do.

I am sorry for the disrupted sleep.

Dear Baby, I’m sorry about the 3-year-old…

She never lets you sleep until she sleeps and she sometimes wakes you up just to annoy you and mommy. I know that it is frustrating but you’ve been so patient with her and that what amazes me about you.

I’m sorry that she licks you when no one is watching.

I’m sorry that she sticks her finger in your mouth when mommy turns around.

She thinks it’s funny until you pull her hair and show her who’s boss.

I’m sorry that you have to always be alert and defensive.

I’m sorry that she steals your toys.

I wish I could say all this will get better but it won’t anytime soon. It is going to get difficult but it will be worth it in years to come.

Siblings fight, laugh, cry and love together.

Today she might steal your toy but I know tomorrow she will return it with an apology and a big hug.

Dear Baby

She will always be there…

She will be your best friend and the one you call when you need help…

To pick you up when you fall.

To find you when you get lost.

To hug you when you get scared.

I’m not sorry that she makes you cry when she cries.

It shows me the bond that you two already share – An unbreakable one.

I’m not sorry that she makes you laugh.

Every time you laugh uncontrollably, I see the love that you have for your sister on your face.

You make your sister laugh like I’ve never seen her laugh before, and you laugh for her like I’ve never heard you laugh either.

I’m not sorry that she doesn’t want to share you with anyone else.

It shows me how protective she already is about her baby brother.

I’m not sorry you have an elder sister.

Dear Baby, I’m sorry about the 3-year-old…

You taught her how to love.

You taught her how to be independent.

You taught her how to be caring…

and you are teaching her the meaning of sharing.

To be honest, I was more concerned about your sister’s feelings than yours during the past 4 months. I felt like she needed to get all the attention ever since you arrived but I was so wrong. You both needed each other to grow and learn together.

Dear Baby

You have shown me how much my heart can grow to love a second child. You may be my second child but you will always be my only son. The one who made me understand the relationship between siblings – something I did not understand until today.

So, Dear Son, I won’t be apologizing anymore with regards to your sister. I will be here to wish you good luck and watch you grow as she tries to torture you every day with makeup and everything pink!

“Siblings teach you the meaning of a loving embrace.”

If you liked this letter, you will enjoy part 1 – Dear Firstborn… I’m Sorry about the baby!

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Hi, I’m Shan. I’m a wife, mom to 3 kids and a businesswoman who works from home and gets very little sleep at night. My days are filled with dirty diapers and toddler tantrums, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything else. I am in the Forbes 30 under 30 list for Forbes Africa 2019 and just recently launched my start-up – MomSays.

Find me on: Web | Twitter | Instagram | Facebook


  1. 2016-02-19 / 14:47

    Absolutely beautiful – and is that not totally how siblings are.

  2. Robin Rue (@massholemommy)
    2016-02-22 / 16:26

    My boys are exactly 3 years apart, so I have been there. My youngest is now 8 and he just goes with the flow.

  3. 2016-02-23 / 04:59

    I love this!! I am thankful my kids are close but sometimes siblings fights happens.

  4. 2016-02-23 / 06:13

    I remember some of my daughter’s antics with my older son. One day she snuck in the bedroom during naptime, climbed into the crib, and when I found her she was signing that he was awake. I was a bit upset but it’s a story I treasure in my heart.

  5. 2016-02-23 / 06:26

    This is such a cute letter. My Son was terrible for never leaving his Sister alone when she was a baby. It has been amazing watching them bond.

  6. 2016-02-23 / 15:10

    The relationship between siblings is such an interesting one! When my 2nd was born I couldn’t leave them alone for 2 secs otherwise my oldest would have stomped on her! ( she was 18 months) At one point I wondered if they would ever like each other! Now, they have their moments, but they love each other and play non stop. Hope it’s all getting a bit easier x

  7. 2016-02-23 / 15:54

    I hear you about bruised cheeks. My daughter bit my son one time and it left a big bruise on him.

  8. 2016-02-23 / 19:46

    Your baby is just adorable!! And I love this letter to him…it makes me giggle, poor sweet baby!!

  9. 2016-02-24 / 14:01

    What a sweet letter. It reminds me of my niece. She was like your daughter too when her younger brother was just a baby. 🙂

  10. 2016-02-25 / 09:07

    I just loved reading every part of this beautiful letter. The love between siblings have a special bonding though they tend to fight at times over small thing like every kid does. Your babies are so cute to make this post more special.

  11. 2016-03-01 / 13:26

    The sibling bond is truly a special one, even if it’s torture on parents at times. Now that my girls are adults, I absolutely love seeing how close they are.

  12. mira naidu
    2016-07-06 / 12:38

    aww this is lovely

  13. 2017-02-21 / 07:34

    The relationship between siblings is such a noteworthy one! once my ordinal was born I couldn’t leave them alone for two secs otherwise my oldest would have stomped on her! Aone purpose I questioned if they might ever like every other! currently, they need their moments, however they love one another and play non-stop. Hope it’s all obtaining slightly easier x

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