10 things no one told me about making mom friends

I thought making friends at school was hard but now I realise how difficult it is to find moms that can understand me and my parenting style.

I’m 24-years-old and most of my friends are not even married yet, so talking about potty training or toddler tantrums to them is totally pointless.

The only way I can share my thoughts and emotions about parenting is by joining a moms playgroup or making friends with moms online.

Luckily some of my husband’s friends are married with kids so I automatically became friends with their wives. But sometimes trying to make a new mom friend can be challenging.

Here I am, at Kitana’s school picnic with a bunch of moms who all have different personalities and parenting styles. Many of them know each other already but for me? I’m the new mom on the block…

10 things no one told me about making mom friends

1. Making Mom friends is a lot like dating

You start off randomly meeting at the mall’s baby changing room, exchange numbers and 2 weeks later you meet for a playdate.

2. Mean moms exist

Remember the mean girl at school…? Well, now she’s a mean mom! You will come across moms who will try to push you around at the baby expo or changing rooms, and probably tell you how to be a mom…

3. You will always get judged

You might get judged for breastfeeding or bottle feeding, sleep training or co-sleeping and probably a whole lot more. There’s always that mom waiting to judge you for your parenting style.

4. You will start judging

Look at that mom all dolled up but her daughter’s nose is snotty… and the child has no jacket on in winter! I admit I do it and I’m sure we all did it at one stage.

Credit: www.parentsociety.com
Credit: www.parentsociety.com

5. Being a mom becomes a competition

Who has the best pram? Wait you driving a …….?! My daughter got her teeth at four months, what about yours?

6. A moms group can help and discourage you.

You look forward to attending the meetup but afterwards, you can end up doubting your parenting style and wonder what you are doing wrong.

7. You end up losing some old friends

Life happened and now all you want to talk about is your child to someone who understands you.

8. You end up becoming best friends

I’ve heard many stories of random moms becoming best friends because they agree on their parenting styles and have a lot in common.

9. Your kids might hate each other

You get along but your kids may not! This is a tough one, do you end up meeting without them?

10. You end up trusting your mom friends more

Mom friends are not just there for playdates, they end up being your pillar of strength when you feeling weak. Mom friends are family you can rely on for advice.

This video will help you understand what mom friends are all about.

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Hi, I’m Shan. I’m an entrepreneur and a sucker for good adventures. I was listed in Forbes Africa 30 under 30 2019 and just recently launched my start-up – MomSays.

Find me on: Web | Twitter | Instagram | Facebook


  1. 2015-05-21 / 17:26

    Mean moms DO exist. I am not sure why anyone thinks they have the right to judge anyone else and how they parent, but so many people do.

  2. 2015-05-21 / 18:37

    Making mom friends can be difficult. It sometimes feels like being back in high school!

  3. 2015-05-21 / 19:09

    I’ve never understood why we moms are always weighing and measuring each other. It doesn’t help us at all.

  4. 2015-05-21 / 19:36

    I always had a hard time making mom friends. Espically when my daughter was little. As I was 29 yrs old when I had her. I was the older mom with a special needs kid nobody wanted to be friends with.

  5. 2015-05-21 / 19:58

    I have a few mommy friends but luckily we all grew up together and have kids about the same age. We all come from different backgrounds, have different marital statuses, but for the most part our kids play dates are more for us than the kids. Lol. I’ve had my share of moms who judge. I don’t tell other moms how to raise their kids, I wish I could get the same in return.

  6. 2015-05-21 / 21:41

    Women tend to be each other’s worse enemies! I don’t know why we tend to judge each other and parenting styles. Why can’t we just all get along? And you’re correct, that mean girls usually grows up to be that mean mom.

  7. 2015-05-21 / 22:39

    These are all true. I lost a lot of old friends when I had kids because no one else was there yet. But now that I am older and my kids are in school, I have made some great friends.

  8. 2015-05-21 / 22:43

    I have to completely agree!! It’s so hard being a mom and all the changes going on, but when friends don’t understand it becomes that much more difficult.

  9. Khadija Fakir
    2015-05-21 / 23:39

    Wow !!! Well said 😐 i need to check if I’m guilty … i actually am at some time or the other

  10. courtneylynne
    2015-05-22 / 00:35

    Ahhhh I wish mom friends were a thing where I live! Making mom friends is very difficult here in WNY! People are either partiers or church people. No in between family like people lol

  11. 2015-05-22 / 01:27

    Meeting mom friends was always a strange situation if our kids didn’t hang out. This happened to me a few times.

  12. Rosey
    2015-05-22 / 02:21

    It’s hard to find mom friends when you’re a lot older than the average mom and moved to a new area. I feel like the granny everywhere I go, lol

  13. 2015-05-22 / 03:54

    Yeah, all my mom friends are online and I’m OK with that. I don’t get along with many offline as we do things much differently and that’s totally fine by me!

  14. Ann Bacciaglia
    2015-05-22 / 05:41

    I was lucky to have a great group of Mom friends when my kids were little. It can be hard to keep some of your old friends once you have kids and your common interests change.

  15. 2015-05-22 / 20:46

    I think making friends is hard at any age, especially when you aren’t in school or around adults on a daily basis. Good luck to you!!

  16. 2015-05-22 / 22:37

    I just started a moms group so I am so relating to some of those statements above. Luckily we are not a group of judgers. I was lucky!

  17. 2015-05-22 / 23:06

    That’s what I did not have when my kids were younger. I don’t have many friends here so it was hard especially that my Mom is thousands of miles away.

  18. Rebecca Swenor
    2015-05-23 / 12:58

    This is great information for new moms. I love the video for sure and must say awesome job. I have never thought of making new mom friends as dating but it is so true. Thanks for sharing.

  19. 2015-05-23 / 16:09

    It sure is hard to make mom friends. I think most of my friends are online.

  20. 2015-05-23 / 16:12

    I totally enjoyed this post. Mean moms do exist. Too bad. We have so much more in common as moms instead of judging each other.

  21. 2015-05-26 / 01:01

    It’s not just women who are moms, but some women in general can be mean! My “favorite” ones are the ones who don’t have children themselves and try to tell you how to raise yours.

  22. 2015-05-26 / 07:11

    There is no question that being a single mom isn’t easy. This article will help several single moms.

  23. 2015-05-26 / 19:37

    lol I’ve got that “your kids may hate eachother” friend 😛
    They’re like oil and water sometimes but, other times, they’re best buds. No idea what the heck to do half the time but we’ll still remain friends, regardless.

  24. 2015-05-30 / 01:17

    Great post and LOVE the video! I hope you all have checked out our site, hellomamas.Com to meet mom friends near you. Xoxo

  25. 2015-06-16 / 17:11

    I completely understand! I’m in the same position St the moment and you couldn’t have said it better being 25 with a 8 month old, my friends are only getting married now. It’s been so hard, but I’ve managed to make a few friends. Still finding my feet.

    • 2015-06-17 / 09:56

      I’m just like you! Still finding my feet even though I’m pregnant with my second one. Not many people realise how difficult “motherhood” can be. I miss having friends … 🙁 Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts.

  26. Shaaista
    2015-06-17 / 09:13

    I love this post! It is so true.. I felt like this as well when I had my little girl almost a year ago.. Most of my friends are not married or don’t have kids, so over the past year you kind of start losing contact with them because you can’t do the things that they do.. And my husbands friends have babies all similar ages to my little girl so yes u start to find new mom friends.. It’s sad and exciting and scary because I was scared that maybe they would not like me or the way I parent!

    • 2015-06-17 / 09:58

      Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts! I know how you feel, I’m still going through it.

  27. Chanelle Botha
    2016-03-07 / 16:31

    Making mom friends is really difficult.
    They don’t always agree with your choices.

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