The reason why I married at 20

At 20-years old I was focused on growing my business instead of dating. I never went through the phase of wanting the latest trends or saving towards buying a new pair of jeans.

I was saving to buy a laptop and searching for investors. I’ve always been business-minded, mom says I get that from my dad.

I knew what I wanted from a young age and most guys my age were still worried about styling their hair instead of worrying about their future. I couldn’t find a guy that understood what I wanted. Every guy I chatted to about business got bored out of their minds… until Vije arrived. The reason I told you this, is because that has a lot to do with how I met my prince charming. Read about my love story here.

Married at 20

The day I told my mom I wanted to get married, was the first day I saw her ‘shocked’ look. She wasn’t sure if I was feeling okay. The first thing she said: “You so young”… Yes… but I was ready! I knew it, I could feel it in my heart that this was the perfect time to get married.

When I told family and friends I was planning on getting married, the first question I was asked is: Are you pregnant?!

No, I wasn’t pregnant and I wasn’t going to elope. It’s the choice I made on my own, I was never pressurized by Vije.

Married at 20

Many people don’t know that Vije and I have a 10 years age gap. At first, we used to get lots of stares in public but after a while we ignored it… and now I don’t even notice it. Honestly, you would never say we 10 years apart because we get along extremely well and hardly ever fight. Our birthdays are 1 day apart and we have the same star sign yet we so compatible and make a great team.

I never intended on getting married at 20 but I knew I wanted a partner who would love and have a passion for business as much as I did. We met when I was 18 and ever since then we’ve been together.

Despite the judgment and misconceptions, I’m thankful I found my one and only when I was young. Marriage is no walk in the park and being married at a young age changes your lifestyle completely but that’s the decision I made. Instead of partying alone, I was partying with my husband. My friends loved Vije and everyone got along with him from day 1.

Married at 20

Married at 20 made me realize that love doesn’t need you to be a certain age. It can happen anytime.

When happiness comes knocking, you open and say welcome! Although my life isn’t like many 24-year olds now, I love it. I may be changing diapers instead of partying but that’s the choice I made.

There are certain things that I don’t love about my husband (like him leaving all the cupboard doors open) but I’ve learned to deal with it. He may drive me nuts at times but I still love him!

This year, Vije and I are celebrating 4 years of marriage. Each year has been a blessing and bringing a daughter into the world brought us even closer. Together we face challenges and yes it does get difficult at times but trust, love, and patience helps us through our difficult times.


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Hi, I’m Shan. I’m an entrepreneur and a sucker for good adventures. I was listed in Forbes Africa 30 under 30 2019 and just recently launched my start-up – MomSays.

Find me on: Web | Twitter | Instagram | Facebook


  1. 2015-03-03 / 09:33

    I also married my husband at 20! I think that when you know it’s the right one, then you know. Why wait?

    • 2015-03-05 / 09:02

      Definitely! Wow, so glad to know I’m not the only one that got hitched at 20. 😉 Thanks for commenting.

  2. 2015-03-03 / 09:35

    Oh I love this – it is so very true – love comes at the time it comes – if it’s the one, you need to grab it and hold it close. For me it came a full 13 years after it came for you .

    • 2015-03-05 / 09:03

      Thanks for reading. 🙂

  3. 2015-03-03 / 10:34

    I just love you guys. You’re one of my favourite couples, and of course I relate to your story because I got married young too and the age gap is similar. I think there are so many benefits, you’re with your best friend and you can experience things together. There is also a misconception that you’re suddenly old people when you’re married – yes, your priorities may change but you are the same people and a young marriage is a FUN marriage!

    • 2015-03-05 / 09:04

      True, Marriage suppose to be FUN! No wonder we get along so well. LOL 😛

  4. 2015-03-03 / 10:51

    Love this post. You keep writing, you are an inspiration to many.

  5. Mervin Luke
    2015-03-03 / 12:28

    Well done….I got married at 24 and my wife was 21……….25 years later we are still married with 3 boys….awesome.

  6. 2015-03-03 / 17:11

    It certainly has it’s advantages when you get married early. BUt just like everything else, it also has it’s cons so it all depends on the person.

  7. 2015-03-03 / 18:51

    I’ve been in a relationship with the same man for almost 10 years and while we are engaged I can’t wait to marry him! Happy Anniversary

  8. 2015-03-03 / 19:23

    Beautiful love story. I am so happy for you, and your family. I am happily married now, and hope to enjoy many more years together. Blessings.

  9. 2015-03-03 / 19:49

    I think everyone has to do what is right for them. There is no right or wrong. As long as you are happy, that’s what matters.

  10. 2015-03-03 / 19:51

    Happy Anniversary! You guys look so in love. I got married when I was 22 and we still in love too 🙂

  11. 2015-03-03 / 19:54

    Love knows no age! I think you just know when it’s the right person! Happy Anniversary!

  12. 2015-03-03 / 22:22

    I met my wife at 20, age really never matters, all that matters is that you are in love and that you both can make it work.

  13. 2015-03-04 / 00:56

    What a great story! I love learning more about the other bloggers and your story is very inspiring. I hope you and your husband continue to have many many more anniversaries!

  14. Ricci
    2015-03-04 / 01:40

    I love your story!! I am 32 and still not married so I can’t even imagine being married at 20 but you make it work. My sister got married when she was 18 and they are such a great couple. Congrats to you for making it work!!!

  15. Pauline C.
    2015-03-04 / 02:24

    When you know, you know… No one can judge how someone loves, and it’s great you stoop up for yours!

  16. 2015-03-04 / 03:12

    It’s amazing to get married so young, but to be so hard working helps a lot!

  17. 2015-03-04 / 03:51

    Honestly, when the time is right, it’s right. There’s no set age on when anyone should get married. It’s whenever they feel it’s right. 🙂

  18. 2015-03-04 / 04:18

    I was married when I was 19 and though we’re divorced, I have no regrets. You know what’s right for you.

  19. 2015-03-04 / 04:26

    What a wonderful story and congratulations in celebrating your 4 year anniversary! Love does come unexpectedly and you know best when you are ready or not. 🙂

  20. 2015-03-04 / 09:06

    This is a very adorable love story indeed. I do believe there is someone out there for everyone. It is awesome you and your husband work well together and have the same loves. Thanks for sharing. You have a beautiful family.

  21. 2015-03-04 / 18:03

    I couldn’t think of myself marrying anyone at 20. Personally I just wasn’t mature enough and was battling a lot of inner demons. At this point in my life I finally feel comfortable for the commitment.

  22. 2015-03-04 / 19:16

    I married at 20 and it did not work out. We were so young and did not communicate what we wanted out of marriage. It seems you got a great marriage there!

  23. 2015-03-04 / 22:49

    He sounds like a great husband. I was married at 20 and found now that my kids are grown, I am ready for my next adventure. Looking to travel once my youngest is out of college.

  24. 2015-03-05 / 00:23

    That sounds very sweet, I’ve been married for five years I’m 30 something. I’m absolutely agree that love doesn’t need you to be a certain age.

  25. 2015-03-05 / 05:09

    Beautiful love story, beautiful family! I first got married at the age of 20, alas the person turned out not to be my true soul mate. However, I’m happy to say that I found love again at the age of 25 and got married a little over a year later. 🙂

  26. 2015-03-05 / 07:25

    I think getting married young has big perks. I think waiting does too. And marrying the right person for you trumps age in any case. 🙂

  27. 2015-03-05 / 17:37

    Aw, your story is really beautiful. I used to want to get married very early, but now I guess I’m ending up waiting. We’ve been engaged since young though 🙂

  28. 2015-03-06 / 00:49

    It’s wonderful that you found your perfect match. I love that you speak of how it was your choice, this is what you want and you are making it work. Good for you!

  29. 2015-03-06 / 05:18

    What a great love story. You just never know when you will find your Mr. Right! Age totally doesn’t matter!

  30. Eliz Frank
    2015-03-07 / 04:28

    What a beautiful love story. 10 years is not a big gap really. Age is not a barrier to love. You look great together and your family joy radiates. Blessings!

  31. 2015-03-09 / 22:50

    the majority of people think getting married at 20 or even 25 is too young, my husband and I got married when I was 21 and he was 23 and 10 years later we are still as strong as ever-thanks for this wonderful post

  32. 2015-05-16 / 05:51

    I think finding him at that time was right for you. In a way I wish I’d met my husband back then, but then I wouldn’t have had all the other experiences e.g. travelling overseas. Life just works out like that sometimes…

  33. Freda
    2018-02-20 / 14:53

    This is a great story am 21 and am in a decision of doing that

    • 2018-02-23 / 15:27

      Wishing you all the best! I’m married for 7 years now. 🙂 Don’t regret my decision.

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