This post was sponsored by Dove.
Have you ever looked at the mirror and said: “Urgh, look at this fat…” in front of your kids?
Several times. And I didn’t realise the effect it was having on my kids especially my daughter until one day she came up to me and said: “Why have you stopped exercising? You look fat today.”
My sons have told me on several occasions that my belly is big and asked if there is another baby in there.
I found it hilarious at first but then it upset me. I have struggled with low self-esteem for most of my life so when my kids judged my body, I got a little angry, not at them but at myself.
Growing up, I was called an “ironing board” by my fellow classmates because I did not have big breasts or any body shape for that matter. People kept telling me that I should eat more, and I did. I ate everything from cakes to fries and I still could not put on weight until my early 20s when I went on a contraceptive pill.
After kids, my body shape changed. Now, I pick up weight easier and it has been fluctuating over the last few years.
From being “skinny” to “fat” had a massive impact on how I saw myself in the mirror which eventually had an influence on how my kids saw me and themselves too.
I realised over the years that the words we use are so important. It can make or break you.
Thanks to Dove and their amazing Self-Esteem Project (which I highly recommend you check out) I connected with inspiring moms like Sthandiwe Kgoroge that said something that stuck with me.
Talk to your child with affirmations. “Hey, Future leader…”
I randomly tell my kids what I love about them and they love it! They end up blushing a little.
Catch the compliment!
When someone tells you how amazing you look in that outfit, catch the compliment! Do not feel the need to explain which many of us do.
“Urgh, this old dress? I bought it at Mr P on sale” mentioned Hulisani Ravele during our zoom conversation.
She was right. I did that a few times when people complimented me.
Learning to love me has been an extremely difficult process over the years but it is important that I keep working on ME because it affects my home, my work, my attitude, and everyone around me.
Self-love and self-care tie in together.
Remember it is not selfish to want to do things to fall in love with yourself again.
It is not selfish for wanting to rediscover who you are.
Sometimes we end up being our worst critics (without even realising it).
Building your confidence can help build the confidence of the people around you too.
Social media has a significant impact on how we see ourselves.
“She’s sharing a selfie, but she looks so fat.”
Remember self-love also includes filtering the people you allow in your circle (online and offline).
Here are a few tips on how you can work on self-love from today:
- Affirmations have been something I always believed in. Use them daily and make them part of your routine.
- Make a list of things you like about yourself. I am a facilitator for the Google, I AM Remarkable course. If you are keen on doing it – contact me (its free). 😊
- Create a jar that you fill with positive words so if anyone at home is having a difficult day, they can randomly pick up a word to remind themselves how amazing they are.
- Make a list of goals or things you want to improve in the next year.
- Do something that makes you happy. Create a self-care routine. On Sundays, I spoil myself a little – Sometimes I take myself out for breakfast or have a bubble bath or a D.I.Y facial.
- Declutter your social media. As Marie Kondo says, keep things that bring you joy!
Let’s help Dove spread the Power of Self-Love
Dove is on a mission to reach a ¼ billion young people by 2030, building an undeniably confident force, overcoming toxic beauty stereotypes via great holistic education.
There are so many powerful articles available on their website to read + free toolkits you can download to help you and your family unpack the importance of self-love. Get yours here.
Self-love helps lift the load so even on your worst day, you will still feel like you can conquer the world, so do not forget to love yourself today.