Dear Friend, When Love isn’t Beautiful

The last time I saw you, you were happy. You had a huge smile on your face, your eyes lit up and you uttered the words I always wanted to hear from you: “I’m in love!”

I was happy to know that you finally found happiness but that wasn’t the truth.

You said it was love but it wasn’t beautiful like it supposed to be.

Waking up every morning in fear, being too afraid to run away isn’t beautiful.

Waking up naked with cigarette burns on your thighs and arms isn’t beautiful.

Today when I looked into your eyes, I saw your pain and fear.

You tried to hide it but I felt it when I hugged you.

The old scar isn’t gone yet but there’s already a new one.

The woman I once knew, isn’t there anymore…

You’re powerless and fragile.

When love isn't beautiful

The beautiful smile you once had, disappeared.

I know what you’re thinking; it’s your fault he’s doing this. You aggravated him.

A REAL man doesn’t hit a pregnant woman.

A REAL man doesn’t take you into a room to teach you a lesson.

The plate of food that fell from HIS hand isn’t your fault.

Love shouldn’t suffocate you.

Love isn’t supposed to shatter you.

Love is not being punished every day.

I beg you, please stop hiding behind those false smiles. Please stop forgiving him. He will do it again… AND again until he tears you apart physically and emotionally.

You don’t deserve this. Your kids don’t deserve this.

I know you think it is too late but it ISN’T.

I know you think you alone but you are NOT. There’s a room full of people waiting for you to ask for help.

You’re stronger than this.

If he loved you, he wouldn’t bang your head against a wall.

If he loved you, he wouldn’t kick you to the ground.

If he loved you, he wouldn’t push you down the stairs… in front of your kids.

You need to close that door shut today and walk away.

When love isn't beautiful

Leave the monster who is giving your children nightmares.

But please don’t give up on love. Beautiful love does exist.

You will find someone who will make you whole again and help you build back your strength. That someone will SHOW you the meaning of beautiful love and KISS your tears away.

If you need assistance with any matter regarding Gender Based Violence such as speaking to a social worker for assistance and counseling contact: 0800 428 428 (0800 GBV GBV or visit to get more info about Gender-based Violence.

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Hi, I’m Shan. I’m an entrepreneur and a sucker for good adventures. I was listed in Forbes Africa 30 under 30 2019 and just recently launched my start-up – MomSays.

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  1. 2015-11-20 / 13:43

    This is so sad 🙁 I can relate as my mother has been through the same for 16 years. Thankfully that is over. And as i am now an adult it affects me very deeply 🙁

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