You’re just a stay at home mom

Before my daughter was born, I used to work with an 8am to 4pm office job until I decided to quit and start my business. When I became pregnant, life changed. I started preparing for my baby while studying and working at the same time. Vije and I planned our pregnancy so it wasn’t a surprise to us but I don’t think I realized how difficult it would be. When Kitana was born, I took a break from work and my husband had to carry the extra load since we have our own business. I decided to focus on my child and studies. I became a stay at home mom. When I used to tell people I’m a stay at home mom, they were like: ”Wow you lucky, you get to do nothing the entire day.”

Today I want to vent my frustrations out on this topic. It doesn’t mean because I stay at home I do nothing. Family used to say to me and my mom still tells me: ”You can cook and clean at least….’’

Let me rewind back and tell you a little about my daily routine:

  • I wake up around 5:30am – 6am latest.
  • Change Kitana’s nappy, wash my face and go for breakfast.
  • After breakfast Kitana and I watch some TV, play around with puzzles while I try to work from either my phone or laptop.
  • She has a nap around 11am from then which I try to have a shower, wash dishes, try to do some work on my laptop AND eat in a short space of 2 hours.
  • When Kitana wakes up, I try to feed her. At the moment she’s going through the fussy toddler phase and is hardly eating. Practically living on the boob.
  • We play some more while I try to work from my phone, if I try to cook or make some tea she’s hanging onto my legs screaming for me. I barely have time to sit and watch a full TV series.

The day goes extremely fast while I’m trying to be a mom and an entrepreneur. I have a helper who comes twice a week, Kitana hardly stays with her. She wants me all the time which is a bit hectic now especially since I’ve become so busy with work. I sleep around 11pm every night as I’m trying to blog and review products. I don’t watch TV anymore except for cartoons because I don’t have the time for it.

Life as a ”stay at home” mom isn’t the easiest as people assume it to be. Don’t get me wrong, I love being able to spend time with my child and do whatever I want when I want. People portray stay at home moms as Lazy moms who don’t have a career or anything to look forward to.


There are some who I call super moms. They manage 4 toddlers, studying and cleaning. I applaud you. I follow some of these moms on YouTube and I wonder how do you do this?! When I cannot make it with one child. Does this make me a bad mom?! I’m I lazy?!


After thinking about it, I’ve realized each person runs their house differently. Our kids have different personalities. I’m just happy that I get to spend time with my baby girl even though I can’t wake up and bath at 8am every morning or watch Survivor once a week. I’m trying to do the best I can and I know with time it will get better. We all go through bad days… Some days we feel like giving up, emotions take over and we feel useless but being a mother is a gift. Motherhood was never meant to be an easy journey, there will be ups and downs but pull yourself together. Even when you have a crying baby who cannot tell you why she’s crying, try to be calm. Never let yourself fall because if we fall deep enough, we might not be able to get back up…

Stay at home moms work too! Trying to manage a house, baby, studies or part-time work isn’t easy. If you think I sit and do nothing the entire day, think again. If you come home and find my sink full of dishes at 3pm, you must know I had a hectic day. If you find me in my PJ’s in the afternoon, you must know I never had the chance to bath.

Please don’t treat me like I’m nothing living off my husband’s income…because believe it or not I work too! I’m multi-tasking, trying to be a successful business woman while raising a toddler who is still breastfeeding and waking up a few times at night.

Is being a parent hard work?

Facebook Comments

Hi, I’m Shan. I’m an entrepreneur and a sucker for good adventures. I was listed in Forbes Africa 30 under 30 2019 and just recently launched my start-up – MomSays.

Find me on: Web | Twitter | Instagram | Facebook


  1. Lauren
    2014-10-15 / 09:29

    Awesome perspective! I’m a working mom and I find it difficult to get stuff done. But the weekends are the pits because I’m busy with Rosie nonstop. Can imagine it is a million times harder if that is your life 7 days a week. I can at least pop out to the shops in my lunch hour without the palava that is taking a baby on a roadtrip (carseat, nappy bag, toys, etc). No matter whether you work or not, being a mom is the most challenging thing emotionally and physically any of us women will ever go through.

  2. 2014-10-15 / 09:34

    I am also a stay at home working mom, with one little girl and yesterday was one of those bad days which ended up me in tears at the end of the day, thinking that I am such a bad mom. I never in a million years thought it would be so difficult so I salute you and all hard working moms out there. My lesson – just be kind to myself!

    • Shan
      2014-10-15 / 11:13

      Rina, dont worry about it. We are allowed to break down. It happens to me too, no mom has it perfect. We must give ourselves some “ME” time, it really helps. Sending you some Hugs.

  3. 2014-10-15 / 14:37

    Hehehe sounds alot like my day 😉 I feel people think of stay at home moms like Peg Bundy from Married with Children & its so frustrating!! Lol… Thanks for sharing ❤

  4. 2014-10-15 / 14:40

    I am on yr 6 of SAHM and at times WAHM. We just had our third baby and our oldest went off to kindergarten. Isn’t crazy how we have “nothing” to do, but the days fly by and we still feel like our to do list is a mile long?! It definitely isn’t easy!

  5. 2014-10-15 / 16:18

    I am a psychologist, now home with our four almost 4 year-old children. It is more challenging by far than when I was going to the office. As a SAH parent, I always need to be ‘on.’ I am always listening for them, even when they are sleeping (or I am at night). I would not trade this time with them for anything, but it is a myth that, “you get to do nothing all day.”

  6. 2014-10-15 / 16:36

    I’m also a SAHM mom and I LOVE this post! Most nights I don’t get on my couch until 9pm or after. I’m exhausted lol! And there are always certain people that think, wonder and ask, “But what do you do all day?!” I challenge any of them to come spend a day in our shoes! It’s definitely a lot of work, but so worth it 🙂

  7. 2014-10-15 / 20:16

    A good post! I find I’m just as busy now as when I worked full-time. For me, it’s all about reminding myself of priorities. If they’re in line, I feel way better about the “busy.”

  8. 2014-10-15 / 20:43

    I used to hate it when people would make these kinds of comments! My thought was “you’ve never stayed home to raise your kids kid you?” Mine are all older now, and the busy only changes, it doesn’t get better! (sorry to be the bearer of bad news). The worst was when my ex told me he thought I was ‘just a mom’

  9. 2014-10-16 / 16:10

    I felt guilty when I decided to be a stay at home mom! I paid for a bachelors and masters degrees and thought to myself that I won’t have anything to show from it. For Christmas last year, my husband wrote me a sweet letter that said I am not just a mom, or a super mom, but I am a master mom because only those with masters degrees get to be called that! It made my heart melt 🙂

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *